Editorial Videoblog for September 2023

Hello Everyone,

     This is my favorite time of year, as I look forward to fall and its succession of celebrations that lead us into Christmas and the New Year.

     The first three quarters of 2023 have been difficult and stressful for all of us, so like most of you, I am looking forward to happier times.  This year I am planning on making the holiday season extra special for myself, my small family, and my friends.  I have already pulled all of my fall decorations from my storage unit, and put them up.  It’s amazing how much lighter I felt after doing that.  As each decoration came out of its box or bag, I felt myself embrace the memory associated with it.  Some were happy, some bittersweet, some sad.

     Many of the people I have celebrated with in bygone years are gone now.  One of the special ways I can bring them to mind and enjoy their presence once again is through those decorations.

     Here’s an example.  Many of you know I lost my dear sister some years ago. Her passing hit me very hard in spite of the work that I do.  I could feel her around me often, even her tinkling laughter.  She was a great cook and would give me frequent (and helpful) hints in the kitchen.  But all that still didn’t lighten my deep sense of loss.

     One morning a year or so after her death I awoke to a beautiful fall day, and spent a few extra moments lying in bed drifting in that soft state halfway between awake and asleep.  As I looked out on my lanai, I saw it filled with pumpkins.  There were big ones and little ones, some wore painted faces, and some were carved.  They were colored orange, yellow and green. They were all over the ground, haphazardly piled high on the tables, the chairs, and I even saw some strewn across the backyard. As the unreality of this slowly dawned on me, I came fully awake.  My sister’s light giggle echoed in my mind as my pumpkin-vision disappeared.  Her presence felt happy and light.  I felt as if she’d sent me healing from the other side, sharing her joy and love of the season.

     But I was still stumped.  My sister and I had ups and downs in our relationship, we’d travelled together, competed with one another, shared secrets, and always gave one another support, understanding and love.  I knew this was a message but I had no idea what pumpkins on my lanai could possible signify.
     So I phoned my nephew.  I asked him if pumpkins could in any way be significant to his mother.  He laughed.  Apparently, every fall when he was growing up, she’d take him and his brother to the local ‘pumpkin patch’.  He said this place had a mountain of pumpkins that you could actually climb.  Of course, they were for sale, and my sister and her kids would bring a bunch of pumpkins home with them.  He said their whole yard would be piled high with pumpkins.  They were everywhere.

     I thanked him and told him my waking vision and that his mother was obviously enjoying the fall and sending her greetings.  I thought that was the end of it. It wasn’t. I thought my pumpkin-vision was meant for my nephew and his brother; a ‘hello’ from their mom from the other side.  Apparently, it was for me, too.  My sister wasn’t about to let this rest.

     Shortly after Halloween that year a girlfriend and I were shopping for Christmas decorations, when I was guided down a sale aisle boasting a few left overs from Halloween.  A pillow immediately drew my attention. It had a leopard print that I loved.  I turned it over to find a picture painted on it. The picture was of me and my sister, as we looked in our early 20’s when we lived together and were very close.  In the pillow-picture we are walking on a fall day, surrounded by pumpkins. Here’s a photo of it.  My sister is on the right, with the auburn hair.

     I took that pillow home with me and it is now the first fall decoration I unpack each year as my sister joins me in my fall and holiday celebrations.

     The fall equinox is late this year, falling on September 24^th.  There’s plenty of time to get ready for it. To me the fall equinox is about looking back at the year, or even at your entire life, and sifting through to find what has value and what doesn’t.  It’s a time for sorting, and clearing out, and keeping what brings you hope and joy, and letting go of all those emotional and physical things that have burdened you. 

     I like to do a little ritual on or around the fall equinox, writing down all the things I am ready to let go of, on little pieces of paper.  Then I burn them, one by one, releasing them from my heart and soul.  I also write down the things that brought me joy and made me feel warm and fuzzy and that I want to bring more of into my life and I put all of those things into a little ‘gratitude for my dreams’ jar along with the future dreams and plans that I am making, and I keep my jar safe throughout the year.  Some years I’ve even made a vision board of all those things.  It’s amazing how vision boards do come to life.

    Let this particular fall and its season of celebrations bring about a return of life, and joy, and all of our dreams.

Love and Light,

Sandy Anastasi